Water is Everywhere

Buckets, sheets, and torrents of rain have poured down this year. Water is everywhere, and the creek has surged, singing as it rushes by. In between rainstorms, Tiger the cat and I burst outside into the garden, drinking in the sun, the clean air, and the big blue sky. 

I put seeds into soil and dream big garden dreams. Sometimes the seeds don't come up, or they come up and falter. I wonder if the dahlias made it through the winter without root rot setting in. Last weekend, we had a retreat called "Apple Blossom" without a single apple blossom because of the late spring this year.

Life is full of painful or uncertain events and circumstances. This is what we can call a first arrow - getting hit with something difficult or unwanted. Recently for me, the first arrow was the apple trees not blooming in time, the lettuce sprouts dying, and the dahlia tubers rotting. When we bump into an unwanted and sometimes even painful event, it is so easy to slide into self-criticism and doubt. Thoughts like, "This garden is a failure, and I may be a failure too," or "The people on this retreat will be so disappointed in me and the retreat because the apple trees are not blooming." This is called the second arrow. Instead of just tending to ourselves and the first arrow, we hit ourselves with a second arrow of blame, criticism, and judgement.

Mindfulness and awareness help! In a few days I am teaching a workshop on the second arrow, so I have been studying it. It turns out that the sting of the second arrow decreases with awareness. I noticed the heartbreaking ridiculousness of  thoughts of personal failure because lettuce sprouts were failing. With awareness, the possibility of a new response arises. We can laugh at our foibles and hold ourselves in care and compassion as we move forward through the wild and precarious adventure called life.